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          Archive for April, 2020

          new seasons is selling hand sanitizer which doesnt work.

          Thursday, April 30th, 2020

          65 percent alcohol for 15 dollars, at new seasons market.

          update– market of choice has tons of 99.9 percent alcohol, for just 2 dollars for 12 oz.

          la bouffe market on 80th and stark has flour, and tons of dried beans. most stores seem out of flour. the price is reasonable as well.

          fantastic news, and better news, bleach boys

          Thursday, April 30th, 2020

          Orders: couriercoffeeportland@gmail.com

          half pound $10
          3/4Lb $15 (grocery store size)
          1lb $20

          shepherds grain low gluten flour 5lb $6
          wholesome sweeteners organic vegan cane sugar $1.6 per lb
          pasture raised eggs from Centralia WA. 7.70 a dozen. (limited)

          Vanilla beans 5 dollars for one bean- a fantastic price considering i spent 4.85 per bean, and yes- after the hurricane decimated the plants- whole beans have been rare. and yes courier coffee in january- was going through 2-3 beans a day with its vanilla syrup, canele and baked good. we also spent 7 dollars for a dozen local eggs, and ridiculous amounts on chocolate. storing the vanilla at cellar temp in a glass mason jar.

          Now- for the best news- could be the new website will be up today- it wont be great, but it will work i hope.

          fantastic news- after i lost the phone and working to wait on the new iphone se 2020, Verizon has picked up a new model of Kyoceras bomb-proof flip phone. I am more than looking forward to it. although in the apocalypse i was hoping for a phone with satelite capabilities, or hamm radio. the sonim seemed ok but also a total failure.

          a phone with t-9 keys, that will work conductively through headphones and hardhats, and with a battery life of 2 weeks, and with better reception than another on the same network. and that wont pocket dial ever. and that you can drop, throw at a burglar, and sanitizer like crazy. only bad point its not international- which would be amazing. it could be but verizon is made up of jerks. it works on many international bands, but verizon makes you swap the sim and change numbers. thats the cool point about the new iphone, but its fragile, kyocera texting you can only get a hundred messages- and i load up on messages like nobody else.


          since the new site will work today i hope ill leave the list of coffees there. wear a mask- or have it super ready for the cool coughing game being played out with the kids in eastmoreland, in front of the shop downtown, and this morning the regular panhandlers across the street from the roaster.

          best- joel- listen to futurist trump supporters of death, following are song lyrics. while we are all locked up at home lets think about how crucial education is, and that even wealthy people raise their children in this time of crises to hold parties, and cough on others for fun. My school raised kids with the attitude “boys will be boys.”
          BUUUT..im hoping we can reopen the coffee shop, and have meaningful interactions that demonstrate silently what it is to care for others. remember the following lyrics actually are sarcastic. dont drink bleach.

          “Bleach Boys”
          By The Dead Milkmen
          From Beelzebubba
          (c) 1988
          I’ve got some buddies and we all drink bleach
          You know we practice what we preach
          We’re not a drunken bunch of frat boys drunk on beer
          Or a stoned bunch of hippies with no careers
          I wanna drink bleach with a Georgia Peach
          My pals and I all drink Clorox
          Or eat Snowy right out of the box
          Teenage suicide rate shot high and we
          Understand the reason why
          Bleach does more than whiten socks
          Don’t you wanna hang out with the bleach boys baby
          In a land where ministers murder golf pros?
          Don’t you wanna drink some bleach tonight?
          Maybe there’ll be a party at the beach
          We’ll bitch about life and chug-a-lug bleach
          No ones getting high and no one’s getting drunk
          We got a case off bleach stashed in the trunk.

          work opportunity for a strong person

          Saturday, April 25th, 2020

          Hello Portland,

          my friend ken is looking for someone who can do some heavy lifting, inside his warehouse. This would be just a few days of work at 20 an hour, in Kenton neighborhood.

          I wouldnt want anyone to help who is taking distancing lightly. Because you would be in an enclosed space working closely with ken.

          ken has a machine shop with some very very cool heavy pieces of machinery. contact the courier email and ill connect. preferably someone who is familiar with tools, and with work place safety, and someone who wont put ken at risk.

          Personally i would prefer to do it myself, but ken wants someone who needs money, so that he can help others in this time. some of you may remember that a couple years back our family helped move him out of a huge warehouse space.

          you would need your own mask, and i would highly recomend some grippy gloves as they aid.

          also remember- dont drink bleach- save a life.


          whenever i write these posts, also dont shoot up bleach

          Thursday, April 23rd, 2020

          I have the habit of resting the back of my hand on my forehead, which would be ok if i was at home, but at work its frustrating. because then i must was my hands.

          I also like to write random thoughts on the wordpress. now i guess more than ever- normally i get to talk with customers.

          if you read this post at all, and you vote for Trump- you will not get a personal judgement from myself. I would like to maintain Courier as a neutral zone- one where we can come together to discuss, as long as you dont fall asleep in the bathroom, or steal the tip jar, or wash your hair for 20 minutes in our only bathroom., or leave blood splatter and an uncapped syringe.

          I definitely have my own political view.

          there is a song by the Dead Milkmen that comes to mind-
          Bleach Boys- which i guess Donald Trump may have listened too.
          and yes- its ironic- but i do have a case of bleach in my trunk.

          you could be pro trump or not.

          and if my blog can save one life- i will do it.
          dont drink or shoot up bleach. but perhaps you should swallow a uv light if you get sick-

          kidding- dont do that-
          drink some coffee and calm down.
          dont drink bleach
          drink coffee.

          neither of them will save you- both have the same molecular structure of poison, but you can drink one all the time and not die.

          stay strong, dont drink the bleach. save lives.
          joel courier

          new economy- and i was very surprised to find more than ten people read this blog

          Tuesday, April 21st, 2020

          I imagine writing the blog is like leaving voicemails on your ex-girlfriends number, and never getting called back.

          Some of you, many of you, are looking forward to the future. sweet. Some are worried, some not, fine.

          It may come as a shock, but your trump dreams of going back to work in two weeks, and your current elation on getting unemployment- Those are good things. But if going back to work means someone will die, can we tighter our belts?

          I will propose something- something that may take more hold in the future. It wont be too radical, but perhaps needed, and probably pretty faulted. and you are welcome to reach out to couriercoffeeportland@gmail.com

          The virus is not over.

          44 thousand in America have died from Covid. as of today. according to google.
          147 thousand in the world have died, as of today according to google.
          im guessing only another 300 thousand will die- (no basis for that number- but just like donald trump- gut feeling- if you ask me in a week i may have forgotten this post, and will have deleted it).

          Let me share with you a time honored story, boiling a frog in water. ive seen it happen a few times in videos. i feel like that could be what is happening. sure people die, some die because they are in conflict, some just need to go to the grocery store.

          CRAZY IDEA-

          look- craigslist is awesome. but it seems like Next Door- as annoying as it is – is helping.
          i think a future of trade will occur without money- thats my guess.

          here is what i have to offer-
          one of my ex-staff makes Kombucha-
          I have a 15 gallon stil- compound fractional without packing.
          i get ten dozen eggs a week..,,, and i may be able to get you chickens.
          flour- 400 pounds
          sugar 300 pounds
          vanilla bean-

          im working on creating a better list- but im not trying to sell myself.

          things i need- glass or sheets of clear material for plant starters- making a greenhouse.
          plant starters (i dont have a green thumb).

          and as always i really need your records- 12 inch of 7. no 78s right now.

          one roll of toilet paper per record is the rule of thumb. HAHA

          for the ten people actually reading this-

          but i really do imagine not having money, and us trading. I personally believe thats very real.

          if you have read all of this then remember to stay far far away from other people. make coffee at home, and if you really need to go to the coffee shop- dont- i will make you a coffee on zoom-


          delivering newspapers was easier

          Sunday, April 19th, 2020

          I applied for a new job

          Saturday, April 18th, 2020

          Today i applied to work for 3M.

          wouldnt that be cool if they expanded into portland to make safety equipment.

          its odd that Amazon and Walmart are expanding like crazy, but the safety industry is not. while everyone else makes masks on their sewing machine.

          so many news articles, companies making ventilators, but i would like to hear about increased PPE. wouldnt that be cool.

          A Day Late

          Friday, April 17th, 2020

          Today i will hand label a hundred units of coffee- which is totally normal.

          The time things take is really amazing. Im a day late with my Market of Choice, and Food Front deliveries. We have three new coffees, and the names are very long. If i could just make up names like other roasters… If i had my labels printed… but that would use plastic.

          Perhaps this is the time to get a small letterpress machine. !

          On another note- Multnomah County Health Department just sent their newsletter Q & A, to my email yesterday. In it someone asked- if my employee tests positive for Covid-19, must i send those who were in close contact home, or let them keep making food. The answer- you guessed it- you dont need to send them home. I was a little shocked personally so i reached out to the health department, and they passed the buck and said- we defer to higher ups, and clarified that yes, and that only send workers home when they get sick, you do not need to send non-sick workers home. Then I wrote Kate Brown through the Oregon website- strangely there is no way to contact Kate Brown without selecting one of two genders…. Then i thought to myself- what? why? Yesterday was unlucky for me.

          ok- here we go- hand labeling a hundred units of coffee. – stay strong

          re- starting my weekly hospital delivery, and about couriers huge success recovering data from the phone

          Wednesday, April 15th, 2020

          Again- the courier phone is literally in pieces-
          email- couriercoffeeportland@gmail.com

          Im pretty sure taking the phone apart was a great idea. The bright spot of yesterday was being able to get my contact list through the verizon website. Then i used my international phone to check up on Arthur Springer- espresso machine fixing legend. while i only got a voicemail, i sort of pranked him by telling him i had left a broken three group espresso machine in his front yard- before saying it was a joke. despite the world happenings i believe he still has 5 machines to fix.

          The new online sales website is progressing, although its not up. i have shopify and stamps.com recommended by sterling coffee roasters (buy their coffee too!). there will probably be a learning curve with mailing as well. really not excited about digital as you can tell from our flashy wordpress. cant even change the header from its blue color anymore.

          couriers digital future has now two options- waiting for an iphone 9 be released and running two numbers on one phone, or, getting a pager. if they had a military pager then i guess im in. Doctors have pagers, so why cant Courier get them.

          Anyway- three new coffees arrived on Tuesday- will be roasting them and tasting them after production, and letting everyone know here… until our new flashy website occurs.

          Heading to the hospital to deliver coffee now- cool thing is i get met by medical staff before i make delivery and they temperature check me all suited up. also access points are all different and im afraid of elevators. you can bet im handing that coffee more carefully than anything. its taken me a few weeks to build up my confidence to restart. lab goggles, p100 half mask, shoes dont come back to work- fresh gloves after. rinse, wash, sanitize.

          if your reading this entry and you work at a phone store and can get me a brand new kyocera dura xv flip phone to activate on my number give me an email. or a really sick pager.

          otherwise be well.
          best j

          keeping safe with covid-19, in a haphazard list, followed by some drama recommendations, and if you have feedback email me. please.

          Sunday, April 12th, 2020

          we are sending coffee locally and shipping across the states.

          How are we keeping your product safe-
          It starts at home. clean clothing gets put on after washing hands up to elbows for a minute or more in burning water with a lot of soap and a scrubber. after that nothing touches the hands that has not been soaked in ammonia for ten minutes in a 500 ppm solution. I dont touch shoes, or any parts. the phones and glasses get soaked in 99.5 percent alcohol for ten minutes, and all the clothing i start with is fresh and cleaned in a machine with bleach in a proper dilutions and then a rinse in super hot water, then in a dryer on high heat.

          when i get to work i wash hands once, then change clothing- careful, then wash again- and both times up to elbows. no touching outside of driving gloves, outside of mask, door handles with bare hands and then into the shop phones, glasses, gets changed again.

          no coughing, no touching face or ears,

          now- when i deliver into stores i wear lab goggles and an n95 mask- from november. when i get home i strip, wash, and shower, then rinse off contact surfaces with multi ammonium sanitizer.

          so- lets get to the fun part.

          recommendations for drama.

          The best feel good- food drama-
          Shinya Shokudo- or Midnight Diner- available on Netflicks- but the japanese issue is better.
          Manhatten Love Story- japanese- a coffee drama- love it.

          my sophomore japanese drama-
          hana yori dango- japanese- the first drama i watched with sakiko
          kita no konikara- very beautiful.

          i have a bunch- but lets cut to zombi dramas-
          hero- japanese- kind of nice.

          then lets go american- armegedon.

          i have so many more.

          but this is a lighthearted response. please dont go outside- please stay safe- please practice being ten feet away.